A Burnout Bio

18 Nov
Forest fire

Forest fire (Photo credit: ElissaMeyers)

It was a weekend of revelations.

One dear friend and colleague said, “I’ve missed your newsletter.  I used to gobble up your short blog posts.”

“You haven’t missed anything.  I haven’t been sending out many newsletters.”  I dodged, but I got her point.  Here was someone who had enjoyed my writing, and I had to acknowledge that I had stopped.  Stopped dead in my tracks.

Later that day, another friend asked, “So, how long has it been since you last wrote something on your blog?”

“Months,” I replied. “Months and months.”  Tears, surprising tears, began to well up. “I absolutely love to write,” I said. “But in the last few months, I just couldn’t face it.  I am all dried up, drained out, and have absolutely nothing to say.”  Gradually, after more conversations, I had a new and convenient basket to put my feelings in.  It was called “Burnout.”  Not just a label, this term was a holding place for the contrasting feelings of apathy and exhaustion, playing side-by-side with anguished emotion.

“What if you wrote about burnout?” My friend knew full well that it was a leading question, but I’m glad she said it.  It was plain as day, and she was perceptive enough to know that at that moment, I couldn’t see it.  Once she said it, I saw it instantly.  I even FELT it.  It was as though blood started flowing through my veins again.  Lights came on inside my brain. I could see new possibilities.

So this is the inaugural post, a simple introduction. Here I am, writing again, on a new blog. You will read my confessions from the journey, currently in progress, back from the brink.  Actually, I was past the brink.  That phrase just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

I don’t have the right, nor the expertise, to tell anyone else what they should do.  All I can do is share my story, and hope that it inspires you.  Thanks for dropping by!

Are you, or someone close to you, experiencing burnout in some facet of your life? Are you a helper of “Crispy Critters?” Leave a comment, be in touch!

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6 Responses to “A Burnout Bio”

  1. happybones November 19, 2012 at 12:57 am #

    Dear MaryBeth,

    Your story is thought provoking. I dwell there on the page so gracefully framed with the poignant yet delicate photo of burnt trees and quote:
    “Find your true weakness and surrender to it. Therein lies the path to genius. Most people spend their lives using their strengths to overcome or cover up their weaknesses. Those few who use their strengths to incorporate their weaknesses, who don’t divide themselves, those people are very rare. In any generation there are a few and they lead their generation.” — Moshe Feldenkrais (1904-1984)

    Looking forward to reading your blog again,

    Katarina Halm, Feldenkrais® practitioner

    • divamover November 19, 2012 at 6:48 pm #

      Thank you, Katarina. This quotation from Moshe has remained a personal favorite since I first encountered it in my training, now well over a decade ago. It was very powerful to revisit this “old friend” in a new light. I am glad that it inspires you, as well.

    • divamover November 19, 2012 at 6:50 pm #

      Thank you, Katarina. This quotation from Moshe has been a favorite of mine since I first came across it during my training, now well over a decade ago. It has been a profound experience to have this “old friend” who up on my doorstep again, so to speak. I am glad that it inspires you, too.

    • divamover November 19, 2012 at 6:53 pm #

      Thank you, Katarina. This quotation from Moshe has been a favorite ever since I first came across it during my training, now well over a decade ago. It has been a profound experience to have this “old friend” show up on my doorstep again, so to speak. I am glad that it inspires you, too.

  2. laviniap November 19, 2012 at 1:37 pm #

    I love how magical the nervous system is. We come to the edge of ourselves, sit in the unknown, and inspiration lights a fire. The double metaphor of burning out, and burning to write touched me deeply.

    • divamover November 19, 2012 at 6:52 pm #

      Thanks, Lavinia. Yes yes, the creative fires vs. the destructive fires — sometimes they look the same. Thanks so much for your comment.

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