April Check-In

27 Apr

Hello, again!
I’ve taken a bit of a hiatus from this blog to allow some “float time.”
Vision and clarity can return when I am not pushing so hard to achieve something.
When I was burnt out, I hardly noticed it until I was at the point of complete exhaustion.
I come from a long line of stoics, and we just put one foot in front of the other until whatever-it-is that needs to be done is done.
Sounds pretty joyless, doesn’t it?

One thing I have learned from the Feldenkrais Method is to simply ask the question: “What ELSE could you do?” Exploring variations of actions, verbal expressions, emotional tones, the stories I tell myself, all help to reshape and reframe current circumstances into something that feels more manageable.

I have been lying on the floor a lot to do Awareness Through Movement. The lessons are a way to reconnect with my sensations, put emotions and to-do lists and deadlines aside, and just enjoy moving and discovering whatever there is to discover that day.

The biggest missing piece, you may recall, was that I had abandoned all my creative work, especially my writing. The wonderful site 750words.com has helped me to re-start and re-habituate myself to writing every day, even if I haven’t been sharing much of it on my blogs. All in due time!

I have also been continuing on my quest to become healthy, so I am actually (GASP!) exercising.

It’s true.

My apartment complex has a pretty good workout room. Most mornings, I go over there before breakfast and spend 30 minutes on the treadmill. Some days I do a little work with light weights, and some days I do do-it-yourself Pilates exercises via YouTube.

A new and welcome addition to the schedule is a weekly vegetable delivery from a local service that brings the farmer’s market to my door. This weekend is going to be a total pig-out to finish up some snow peas, kale, and fabulous salad greens in preparation for Monday’s delivery. I have persisted with my almost-vegan lifestyle, and one result is a weight loss of 55 pounds to date. I have gone from a size 16 to a size 6 or 8. My BMI was 30.9, and is now 22.6. My waist measurement was 44, now it is 33. Some new clothes from the thrift shop, new professional head shots, and some fun new shoes — pink high heels — have provided surprising new energy as well.

Even though a busy time is coming up, as our training program reconvenes, I feel healthy, confident, and excited about new possibilities.

The Burnout provided a chance for me to stop, step back, and reinvent. Reinvent what? Pretty much every aspect of my life, from the way I spend my time and with whom; the food I eat, the thoughts I think, the quality I want to have in all my relationships. I have a different guidance and calibration system now, so that when I start to feel overwhelmed, I can take stock and take steps. Or lie down.

How’s it going for you?

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